by Amy Swartz

Here are my predictions for the Downton Abbey finale:


1. Justin Timberlake, Cora’s American nephew, will unexpectedly show up asking for money to bail his gambling addicted father out of jail.  He must keep it a secret from his grandmother for fear that they will both be disinherited.


2. Cora learns her American mother needs a kidney transplant or she will die. Cora is the only possible donor.  If she goes to America for the surgery, Robert will probably have affairs with the local town girls, servants, and possibly some of his old friends from Eaton.  If she doesn’t go, Cora will inherit her mother’s money and Robert will waste it all on bad investments and hair creme.


3.  Robert’s suspicions have been confirmed:  Edith is the milkman’s child.  Robert feels vindicated in his utter dislike of the “middle child”.  Edith visits her father who is in an insane asylum and learns that her new boyfriend is actually her half brother.


4.  Mary and Matthew consider filing for divorce in a vain attempt to try to recapture some of the “tension” that used to excite them both. Fighting is their only hope for survival.


5. Bates is sent back to prison because he was accidentally let out before the prison guard tried to kill him.


6.  Thomas hits Ms. O’Brien over the head and then hides her body in the woods. Everyone is glad that O’Brien’s gone so they don’t report her missing.  Cora asks Daisy to be her maid until O’Brien gets back or a proper replacement can be found.


7.  The Dowager Countess conducts a summer camp for very very very rich girls.  They are taught how to be discreet when having affairs with married men, and also how to find very very very rich American husbands.


8.  Mrs. Crawley counsels Matthew and Mary on best practices for getting pregnant and then joins the peace corps where she catches malaria, and is the final character to die this season.


Let’s see what happens…