by Amy Swartz

One of my best inventions is replacing barking with coughing. One big advantage is my Aunt Amy always comes running when I’m coughing, even at 4:30 in the morning.  I cough when I want her to wake up and take me outside or feed me.  I used to bark at my Grandma to take me outside, but she would get angry with me.  I found that if I COUGH, no one gets angry, I get taken care of, and we’re all happy.


The best time to use the COUGH is first thing in the morning – between 4 and 6 AM.  Your aunt may wonder if you are cold so she will get up to cover you.  Be prepared and be standing by the door ready to go outside.  She will be able to go back to sleep after she has walked you, fed you, given you a treat, and tucked you back in.  My Aunt Amy catches up on a lot of recorded TV shows as she goes back to sleep.  If I had barked, she probably would have ignored me until 6 or 7 and then she may have been crabby when she finally got up.


Coughing works all day long, not just in the morning, however, your human may figure it out if you overdo it.  A bonus is that your aunt will feel like she helped your cough and she will be very happy once she meets your needs.  Humans are so forgiving and so forgetful.  Coughing really is the way to go.


Woof Woof Woof